So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
