I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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