I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
