lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Boobs speak an international language.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
