you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
