who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize