i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
