So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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