running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
