need another drink. this is the easiest way
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Terrible idea I love it
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
