That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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