I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
