I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
its liver damage thursday
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize