At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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