he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
