i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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