She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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