So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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