I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
