So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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