U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
this is an emotional support booty call
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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