Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
