Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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