Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Sorry about my life...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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