took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
