did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
