people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
