Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
