I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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