I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
