Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Terrible idea I love it
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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