O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize