Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
