Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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