But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize