we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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