ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
