I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
