His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
