Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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