i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize