dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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