what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
