Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize