I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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