She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
