You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
