sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
