Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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