you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
there was a trapeze. enough said
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
