i barfeds in our rink
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
