But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
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