omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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