addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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