I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
