one two three fourrrrnication!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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