she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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