apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
