I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
