So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
