Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
