So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
