my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
