Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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