I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize